Clap Now!
He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not, she loves me, i mean he loves me or maybe not. And I swear that I won't be better until he loves me. I don't like negotiation!
Start having the big picture on what's this crap all about?
So the story goes, on one fine day, really one fine day...
A girl signed on the messenger and put a heart breaking, devastating, creating suicidal tendencies and homicidal imagination... (Please understand, I have to spice up this life a bit so trust me this is truly one devastating status)
"It won't make any sounds if only one hand that's clapping."
First of all, I guess all the kindergarten kids know that clapping need two hands.
Second of all, why she has to ruin my fine day when i looked really good with my super sexy new white pants. I decided i have to let her suffer no more. I decided to give her some revelation.
"Yes sweetie, there won't be any noise if it's only one hand that's clapping. But in case you haven't heard, clap means to striking together two flat surfaces, as in the body parts... not necessarily hands. So, have you got the big picture? Ney? Okay... lift your right hand up then strike your hand and your cheek, i bet it makes some sounds. Nice and unforgettable, oh i forgot to add some shame."
I bet there's a bitter smile across, did I just cyber slap you?
And what the f@*k... now her status is "You got me begging you for mercy..."
Get yourself a sex doll... Girl, you need to get laid, real hard!
God is a sadist
"To tell you the truth, God is a sadist!" uttered my friend.
God created one species called human being, according to the Holy Bible, human is the one and only God's closest creation to his own picture, which means perfect. They have their own mind, they have feelings for each other, and they have STD too, i mean God did tell human to be fruitful and multiply. The rest sounds like the common story that you've always heard, except that they never mentioned about STD.
But then problems came, and unfortunately they never go. Eve finds that Adam is too obsessed with anything that includes sweat, muscle, ego, donut, hot dog and bunch of men that's suspiciously chasing a 27 inches ball, and after they have it, they kick it. On top of that, Eve thinks that Adam is overrated, and she thinks that Adam loves TV, friends and beer more than Eve. While Adam finds that Eve thinks that Adam's able to read her mind, he also finds that nowadays Eve looks fat, and not as good as the first time they met each other, her hair looks weird, her boobs are too saggy, her PMS is just overrated, on top of that Eve is obsessed with chocolates, Manolo Blahnik's shoes, Prada's bag and Eve can't make up her minds when it comes to her stuff, but will say no, immediately to all Adam's boys night out. Short story, they came from the same language root but they speak a completely different "language." Then, how can we fulfill His command to be fruitful and multiply?
He, yes I refer to God himself. He creates humans "male and female" in His image, and gives them dominion over the living things He has created. Yet he might forgot to give us the ability to read other's mind when we need one. Dear God, we would've been extremely grateful if we can do that. That'd save a lot of time that I've wasted, trying to figure out what did I do, until he doesn't want to talk to me? And it'd be so much easier to convince a man that when you love someone, you'd make them happy, not the other way around. And even easier to make a woman understand that a man's freedom equal to multiple orgasm. Are we speaking the same "language" now? Well He's not a sadist, He's just joking with us.
